It's been a bit since I posted last... my b. This past week has been a little busy since I finally found a way to play soccer often... so I've been doing that nonstop. So, to reward your waiting, there will be two (yes, 2) embarrassing moments at the end of this post, just do add more incentive for you to stick with me until then (unless you're a butt and you scroll down now because I said that).
I FINALLY went to the beach, the weekend before last. It was really nice, both in aspects of scenery, and "scenery." Nameen? The water was green, and the beach was in this inlet-type deal, with green-coated mountains in the background... it was unbelievable. But you know me, rather than taking a ton of pictures of the beautiful natural setting, I just took weird pictures with the dudes I went with (feel free to scroll down to see those, you impatient readers).
Soccer has been the theme since my last post... there is an indoor futsal court at FGV that I play at 3-4 times per week now (haha I say "per" week like I didn't start doing it this week... you know what I mean though) and it is by far the best part of Brazil so far. Two of my great passions, soccer and diversity... present in one place (Savannah and Dea that diversity was a shoutout for you, I know you appreciate my love for it haha). The first time I played, we did a Brazil vs. Rest of the World type game, with my team consisting of American (cough me cough), Guyanese (Johnathan), Colombian, French, and German backgrounds. We did better than anticipated and frustrated several Brazilian squads. 1 thing I've learned.... not to tell people I'm American before I play with them. If I do, the ball doesn't come my way for a good 5-10 minutes until people realize that I'm not just a dumb yankee that'll try to pick up the ball with my hands. However, I have received several ego boosts and have done my individual part to alleviate the US from the stereotype that no American is capable of playing a decent brand of soccer. "No way are you American, I thought you were Brazilian" and "I've never seen Americans play like that" do wonders to inflate my already hot air balloon-sized ego. At least now I'm respected enough that people tell me when everyone is going to play. Good week in that respect.
I danced forro last weekend for the second time... it was Johnathan's birthday. I'm starting to get it a bit more... I have the basic step MASTERED haha. Right when I think I'm getting the hang of it I look over to see if Junior saw, but he's in the zone twirling girls and looking like a beast. Plus he has his eyes closed the whole time.... showoff. He, however, is a very good forro "pimp;" he impresses girls with his skills, then asks them if they'd be willing to teach me and/or Johnathan. Since he's such a snake charmer they usually agree, so Johnathan and I appreciate it greatly since it's hard to work up the courage to ask a girl with a line like "hey... I have no clue what I'm doing but let's go!"
Alright, I know you're waiting. So here's the #1 moment of the past week and a half or so:
So, as many of my friends will tell you.... I wouldn't be considered the LEAST sassiest human being on this planet. If I hear something that is sass-able, odds are I'll be obnoxious and call you out on it. Since I've been doing that since I can remember, it was about time that all that "crap" caught up to me (foreshadowing quotes...). Johnathan and I were walking from my place to a bar called Rabo da Peixe for my international buddys, Ana Luiza, birthday celebration. I don't even remember what idiocy Johnathan was rambling about... I suppose it doesn't even matter. The only thing that matters is that my sass was cut short: "Johnathan, that was probably THE stupidest thing I have ever.....splaaaaat.... squisshhh.... oh. my. lord." Apparently dog owners here aren't courteous about the sidewalk souvenirs that they're "cute" little furballs leave behind.
Hokay, here's number 2: (maybe the previous one should have been number 2.... zing!)
This one is probably more in the more horrific/uncomfortable category, rather than embarrassing. I was riding the bus home from my second soccer session, all gross and sweaty and whatnot, in a pretty good mood from playing/ego boosting. Usually all the seats are taken on these buses, since around 6 or 7 trillion people live in this city. But on this occasion, there were 2 open seats. I considered sitting in the first open one (a logical and efficient choice) but immediately regretted my decision to even CONSIDER it. Sitting near the window was this... guy...? Girl...? Well it was definitely a tranny. I'm not sure which pronoun to use if I'm trying to be politically correct. But all political correctness aside... no thanks. And, to put the icing on the cake, this hybrid Dennis Rodman / Hillary Rodham Clinton lookalike (maybe I should have called this person Rodhman... haHA!) DEFINITELY WINKED AT ME. Ugggghhhhh. My euphoric mood from soccer immediately turned into a nauseating one. Now, before you righteous readers think to yourself "come on... I bet it was a tranny" IT WAS TOTALLY A TRANNY. Mr./Mrs. Rodhman had bright red eyebrows drawn onto the most prominent brow I've seen in recent years, plus an adam's apple the size of the Epcot center. Sorry, I didn't have the quick thinking to snap a picture, so you're just going to have to take my word for it. I decided to walk past the second open seat also and stand in the back.
Until next time... I'll stay on adam's apple patrol and make sure to do more entertaining for you/ disturbing for me things over the next week or so. Tchau.
Franklin REALLY likes Johnathan haha
p.s. I was the only guy wearing shorts that went past... wherever theirs go past haha. Yes, girls wore thongs... but so did the guys. Guess you give and take.
Fat people get preferential seating on the bus as much as old or pregnant people... they can't fit through the turnstyle
that's my sexy "bout to eat some batatas fritas" face
Ana Luiza, my int'l buddy
where I'll be spending the majority of my time
no idea what I'm doing... she knew it too
probably my favorite picture of Johnathan thus far haha